


Signals

by dnawhite76, Prubbs



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: AU, M/M, trade feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:48:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dnawhite76/pseuds/dnawhite76, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prubbs/pseuds/Prubbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler tried to forget about the trade by loosing himself in a couple of boozey hook ups but has no idea that his new Captain is also his new neighbor. And the walls are thin. </p>
<p>Angsty fluff written RP style to cure minimal boredom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signals

**Author's Note:**

> First hockey fic. Like it or don't, it was super fun to write. 
> 
> For the new coming Hockey readers, I found this website extremely helpful when I was getting into this;  
> https://www.winnetkahockey.com/index.php/basic-rules-of-hockey

Jamie was tired. He had gotten up far too early when Jordie made him regret giving him the spare key to his apartment by pulling him out of bed to the gym before they got back onto the ice for the first time this season. So he was tired when he finally got back to his apartment, tired enough to not notice that the moving van out front was depositing boxes one door over. He waved to the old couple that lived the floor down as he climbed the stairs wishing that he had taken the elevator but he knew that he would have given himself shit for it later. He grazed one of the movers going buy but didn't get a good look at them. He just pushed into his apartment and walked into the shower barely getting undressed before he turned the water on.

 

Bang bang bang.

Jamie jumped feeling groggy as he peered into the dark of his room trying to find the noise that woke him. He rolled up with a groan so that he was sitting, looking around his room. It didn't seem like anything fell but there was that noise again.

Bang Bang Bang.

He turned around watching the wall like something might jump out of it. He was too groggy and very confused until he heard a very loud, very satisfied moan lean through. Oh. Must have been his new neighbor, and by the sound of it, his very happy neighbor. Jamie felt his face going red so he laid back down and tried to ignore it. He thought about banging back on the wall but he just couldn't bring himself to interrupt. Anyway it was probably just a one time thing. Surely it wouldn't happen all of the time. He looked at the clock on his bedside table. It was four in the morning. In two hours Jordie would be banging on his door to make him go run with him and he wouldn't care that his new neighbor was getting lucky rather loudly at odd hours of the night. He sighed and got up, dressing in his sweats and grabbing a bottle water out of the fridge. If he had to be up he might as well get the running part of the day over with. Maybe this time he would wake up Jordie. 

 

"I hate you." His brother groaned when they got back to his place a little after seven sweaty and tired but feeling more or less awake.

Jamie half smiled at him pushing open the door. "Pay Back is a bitch." He told him and Jordie glared at him dropping onto the couch.

He walked into the bed room to throw his sweaty shirt in the hamper and heard muffled talking from the other side of the wall. He hadn't realized before just how thin it was. His old neighbor had been an elderly woman and she had been very sweet, very quiet, only ever bothering him when she couldn't reach something in one of her higher cabinets. He walked back to the kitchen and opened the fridge taking out the milk and a carton of eggs when he heard the door open in the hall. He was too curious not to look. He walked over to the door and peered through the peep hole, only catching the back of a man's head who was kissing a very attractive blond woman. She must be the moaner. He wondered which one was his neighbor but soon the blond walked away with a sly grin and the man made his way back in the direction of the apartment answering his question. "Who are you spying on?" Jordie asked slipping into the kitchen and he pushed away from the door guiltily.

"New neighbor." he told him shortly, "Woke me up this morning doing some chick into my bedroom wall." His brother laughed grabbing the milk.

"Seriously?" He asked unscrewing the lid and taking a huge gulp. "Was she hot?" He asked.

Jamie shrugged, "As far as girls go." He offered snatching the milk back and pulling out a glass to pour him one.

\--

He tossed the scrap of paper she'd scribbled her number on as he walked back in his apartment. There was no way he was calling her again. It had been a long time since he'd had anonymous hookups and he was definitely anonymous in Dallas. He flopped onto the couch and fell asleep quickly. She'd curled around him immediately after coming and he wasn't enough of a dick to push her off, but he hadn't slept at all. He was glad for her alarm going off and her panic of being late to work. 

 

"Are you ok?" he shrugged. "You look like shit."

He frowned at the screen. "I feel like shit."

Freddy touched the screen briefly. "Want me to bring Marshall down early?"

He hesitated. It would be good to have them here, but he wasn't settled yet and he didn't want to do that to Marshall. "Nah. Give me a few weeks. Distractions! Send them my way." They talked about nothing for a while until Freddy had to go to work. 

 

The bar was dirty and loud and it reminded him too much of Boston. He pounded back shots and took the first girl who showed interest home. Distractions. Distractions were a great thing. She didn't like kissing. He'd hesitated when she'd told him with a frown. Was he bad? No one had told him before. But she pulled his face into her neck and arched against him as she moaned softly. Maybe she really just didn't like kissing. She shoved him down onto the bed when they got moving that way and it clattered against the wall. He should have let the movers put it together. He was going to wake up one day and his bed was going to have fallen apart. It didn't take long before she was guiding him in with small gasps. She settled for a second before opening her eyes and staring down at him. He shifted and she gasped again. It was the last genuine sound she made. As they found a rhythm her noises got louder and louder. She didn't look down at him again and he wondered if she was putting on a show. He was glad they hadn't bothered to exchange names, he was sure she would be yelling how good he was if she knew it and he didn't need the false praise. She nearly screamed as she came. He wasn't any where near coming. She rolled off him and looked at him in confusion. He shrugged and finished what they'd started and she didn't seem to want to finish.

She bit along his shoulder as he came. "You're quiet," she marveled and he'd lost track of how many times he'd heard that.

"Sisters and roommates," he muttered when he could think, which was disappointingly quickly.

"This was fun." she said pulling her bra back on.

"Yeah," he agreed. She didn't bother giving him her number and he didn't ask.

"Thanks," she said giving him a kiss on the cheek as he walked her out.

\--

What was he doing, killing her? Jamie pulled his pillow over his head and groaned trying to make the noise go away so that he could get some damn sleep. He wondered briefly if he was a terrible person for not going over there to make sure the girl really wasn't getting killed but he was too tired to care. But it stopped soon after and he drifted into an uneasy sleep.

 

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"No no no..." he mumbled into his pillow, woken up for the third time in as many days. This was ridiculous. He could hear yesgirl getting shrill in excitement and if he gave enough of a fuck he might have just given in and let them finish but he was so tired of this, and so tired in general, that he pushed himself up off his stomach and pounded his fist against the wall. The other side went quiet and he slumped back into the mattress. He slept through the rest of the night feeling better when he woke up. He watched the walk of shame from his peep hole noting that it was yet another blond. It seemed the wallbanger had a type. Loud and blond. He wondered if he would consider maybe a quiet brunette or a spunky redhead who respects other people's bedtimes.

 

"Oh god-oh...OH GOOOOOD!" He'd had it. Four nights. Four nights, four girls and a progressively grumpy Jamie. He rolled out bed and banged on the wall. It went quiet. He cleared his throat.

"Find Jesus in the morning. Just pray or something?" He suggested loudly and he swore he heard a laugh when he fell back into bed. There was a little creaking but after that sweet silence just long enough for him to fall back to sleep.

\--

Training camp was getting closer. He didn't feel any more settled than he had two weeks ago. After their last Skype session Freddy had sent him a list of bars with the subject -Go get em Tiger.- He'd looked up one and frowned. Now would be the time. The season hadn't started yet. He couldn't chance it during. He'd feel better. He always did. He sent Freddy a sleazy grin on Snap chat and finished unpacking his kitchen. He had three days before his dog had to be down here. He couldn't bear it for any longer than that. 

 

His back hit the wall and he briefly worried about his neighbor, but stubble was grating against the skin of his neck and he didn't care. He'd lucked into this. He knew it. He was always awkward at gay bars. Unless his friends had drowned his brain in liquor and shoved him onto the dance floor, but he didn't have any friends here. He whined as the thought came paired with a hand rubbing against his zipper. "You don't have to be quiet." he grinned.

"I'm not." they made out against his kitchen wall.

He'd finally finished. "Bed," Zach, Jack, whatever his name was, hissed.

He let go of his ear lobe and grinned. "Definitely."

He sat on the bed, trying not to be too loud. He'd been careful to keep his hookups in the living room after the last threat to come over and shut them up. "How do you want to do   
this?" the man asked.

He shrugged. "Wanna fuck me?"

Surprise registered a second before the interest. "Fuck yeah." they made out for a while more. His lips numb, jaw aching, and skin raw. "Now, now, now," he cursed. There was some shuffling. He faintly heard the bed post hit the wall, but his dick was in a dudes mouth and fingers were pressing in in in and he didn't care. The pressure was a tease, meant to distract, but he could stop thrusting into it. And ZachJack didn't seem to mind. He grabbed onto the wall and groaned low as he ground down onto the finger torturing his prostate. "Now now now." he plead again. There was a second before he was flipped and pulled up onto his knees. He grinned and held on to the bedpost.

"You're going to feel it." he was warned.

"Good." was all he could think to say as he was filled. They groaned together as the pressure grew. He panted into his pillow, unsure of when his elbows had given out.

"You okay?" he nodded and pulled himself back up. He flexed around JackZach, maybe he'd bother to get his name right by the end of this, and earned a groan. The first thrust sent him scrambling for purchase on the bed. His hands found the headboard and he held on as they slammed together.

"Fuck," he hissed when the angle hit just right. "Harder," he plead quietly. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." he cursed.

"I am, babe." JackZach laughed. He pushed back against a thrust and they both moaned.

"No laughing." he mumbled. "Laughing is the best." he couldn't disagree. Just talking to ZachJack was better than the best sex he'd had since he moved. This was going to be a problem. "Want me to sing baby got back? Get you in the mood?" he barked out a laugh at their joke. He'd been quietly singing along to the song when ZachJack had leaned over and asked him to dance. The fast pace had slowed some with the conversation, but he didn't mind.

"You don't have it in you." He laughed as the hips grinding into him took on a different rhythm. A hand wrapped around him. He closed his eyes and listened to the awful rap being crooned into his shoulder as they both lost the rhythm and chased their oncoming orgasms. He sighed as he came and shoved his face into the pillow as JackZach pulled his hips up against him for a few more pumps until he was coming too in a low groan that sounded like heaven compared to the shrieking he'd been getting. Maybe Freddy was right. He needed to stop denying it.

 

They had amazing sex two more times that night and exchanged garbled blowjobs in the shower that morning. Breakfast was quiet. He ate his eggo without any syrup and glanced every once in a while as JackZach ate. "This was fun. You ever want to do it again. Give me a call." his phone was slid across the table open to his contacts... Mack.

He smiled. First real smile since the trade and nodded. "Maybe I will. You gonna follow up your one hit wonder?"

Mack laughed as he stepped out the door. "Hit me baby! One more time" he belted out off tune and with horrible dance moves, but he couldn't help but laugh along.

"Shut up. You'll wake everyone up." the stairwell door opened and he cringed a little bit. His face was red, he hadn't bothered with anything beyond boxers and Mack was sporting a monster hickey that he couldn't really remember giving him. It was obvious they'd hooked up. He was going to be known as that neighbor. Mack headed toward the elevator.

"Bye, Ty." he smiled. He dared a glance back and felt himself pale. It was his wall neighbor. The neighbor who heard him have sex all the time. Who had most likely heard them the night before. Their eyes met for half a second before he was darting back into his apartment. He couldn't do this. 

 

Marshall made it down the day before training camp. Freddy bitched about the drive for their entire dinner. It felt good. Normal. The way it was supposed to be. He wasn't coming out of his skin with nerves about playing with the new team. About proving that Boston had made a mistake. About his neighbor recognizing him and outing him, when he wasn't even comfortable being out with himself half the time. Maybe he could convince Freddy to stay. He might have been pushed out the door and told to go knock em dead, cause his friend was a lameass. There were too many people to focus on any one. Until he heard a voice he was pretty sure he recognized and knew it wasn't Pevs. "Oh fuck," he hissed when he looked up from his stretch.

\--

The jolt that woke him this time had been right against the wall. He was fully awake in seconds and all too aware of what woke him up. He was pissed. So pissed that he actually felt a little bad about feeling that angry. He got out of bed and grabbed his sweat pants, this time he was going to stop this. He had training camp in the morning and he needed to be awake for it. Jamie was halfway through pulling on his pants when he heard a deep groan and stopped. That wasn't... He stepped closer to the wall and heard it again, two deep voices and another bang. Oh shit. His face felt hot and he knew that he should still go over there and tell them to shut up. It shouldn't make a difference if he was with a man. He should still be bothered. And he was. Just in a different and more surprising way. He let his pants fall back onto the floor and closed his eyes when the moan came back through the wall. He was not doing this. He wasn't going to do this. But by the next moan he was so hard that it hurt. He bit his lip, it wasn't like anyone would have to know that he jacked off to the sound of his neighbor fucking some guy. He let his pants fall to the floor feeling so embarrassed he was convinced he wouldn't be able to keep it up but the moans came louder and he let out a shaken breath and pressed his palm shamefully against himself. He but against his own noises. He didn't know what he would do if they heard him but he couldn't bare to think about that. The bed was shaking through the wall and he pulled the elastic down to free himself. He could really move now that he had the room. He closed his eyes, free hand holding him up. He could practical see them pressed against each other movie fast and hard and-

 

"Benn!" He jumped dragging his eyes off of his new neighbor who had somehow ended up getting ready for his training camp in hos locker room in his team colors. This couldn't be happening. He hoped that he didn't look as embarrassed as he felt trying to shove the new images out of his head now that he had a face to put with it but it was hard. He would have dared anyone not to think about Tyler Seguin plowing them into a wall when they heard it every night. Lindy was coming up next to him. He tied his skate and sat up straight. "I want you to reach out to Tyler." He said nodding towards the man he'd been eyeing who looked like he'd like to look anywhere but at him. "He had a bad rep when we got him but we could use his speed. We need to make him feel like part of the team, do that for me will ya?"

Jamie nodded, "sure." He told him getting up and grabbing his stick, groaning internally. This wasn't going to be easy.

\--

As soon as he skated onto the ice he forgot everything that had been rushing through his mind. There was only the ice. It didn't take long to fall into the rhythm of practice. Things were different for sure, but he, for once, didn't feel out of place. They ran drill after drill. Lines scattered around as the players felt each other out. He got a goal in off of a sick pass he didn't even see until it was on his stick and when he spun to see who it had been he froze for a second before high-fiving his new teammate and skating back. Things continued like that until the end. He was drained. He'd been working out, but training camp was a whole other thing. "Coming out?" Pevs asked elbowing him lightly.

"Nah. Marshall just came down. I need daddy doggy time." There was a snort from a nearby stall, but he wasn't ashamed of Marshall. Marshall was awesome, they'd learn. Jamie was watching him as he got dressed. He felt like a moron. How had he not recognized him the day before? He'd been kind of panicked, but still. He pulled his hoodie on before he remembered it was Dallas. He didn't bother taking it off. It was just a short drive back. That's what A/C was for.

 

"Whoever invented Air Conditioning was a moron. What is the purpose of inventing something that doesn't work until you are getting out of the car?"

Freddy leaned back over the couch. "You're the idiot wearing a jacket." He pulled it off and flopped onto the couch. Marshall licked his face half-heartedly before falling back asleep.

"So glad he missed me," he deadpanned.

Freddy snorted. "Stop whining." they were silent for a few minutes as some reality show played on. "Ok. What's going on?"

He blinked. "Nothing?" the stare that fell on him was impressive. "My next door neighbor is my captain, and the walls are thin." He said simply as if it was just a fact.

Freddy turned. "Why does that...-"

He nodded at the shocked expression. "He might have been coming back from a run as Mack was leaving. Pretty sure he heard us the entire time." He wasn't freaking out. He wasn't.

"Fuck." Freddy said.

"Fuck." he agreed with a nod. Marshall wuffed his agreement in his sleep.

 

The next day they trained with more regular lines. Jamie on his left more often than not. He didn't panic. But he was getting there when they weren't on the ice. The fact that the winger hadn't said anything yet was beginning to worry him. They were great together, he could feel it. Now he just needed to relax. Needed to, but couldn't.

 

"Please don't tell anyone," he plead, stopping Jamie as he stepped off the ice. Jamie looked shocked. He was terrified, but he had to ask. Beg even. Fiddler slid to a stop by the gate and he shot Jamie one last look before fleeing, as calmly as he could, to the locker room.

\--

"What's up with you?" Jordie asked skating upon him, stopping with a hard grind into the ice as he grabbed at the back of Jamie's jersey.

He faltered and nearly fell, catching himself on his shoulders and smacking him on the arm. "Skate much?" he complained aggravated that he hadn't gotten the chance to say anything to Tyler before he ran off. But what was he supposed to say to that? Was being loud that terrible?

"Jamie?" Right. Jordie was watching him and he shook his head.

"I'm fine," he told him and quickly changed the subject before he could tell him he wasn't. 

 

He tried to catch Tyler before he left but he was out of the locker room as soon as Jamie came in and no where to be seen after that. Jamie frown and headed home wondering if he would be pushing his boundaries if he went over and talked too him. He stood between their doorways for a few minutes before retreating back into his place after a few minutes of internal struggling. It was safer there. He would talk to him tomorrow. 

He didn't talk to him. He just silently kept to the left, passing and receiving and shooting the puck as they got used to each other. It was easy to play with Tyler, he didn't know why but they just clicked. Their communication wasn't perfect yet but he could feel that this was a good change for the team. A good start of something. But he couldn't tell if Tyler thought the same.

 

"You should come out with the team." Tyler blinked at him like he was speaking Spanish and he couldn't feel his shoulders locking up in discomfort. He avoided his eyes. "We had a good session today. They guys want to go get drinks you should come." He offered a little half smile that was really all he was much good for and Tyler shifted mulling it over.

"I...yeah sure?" He said looking like it was his duty to try just like it was Jamie's to make him, but it still caused a grin to flash across his face before it fell quickly back off.

"Great. We'll head over around ten. You're right next door so we can go together." He pat his shoulder immediately wishing that he hadn't but couldn't take it back so he nodded and grabbed his things rushing out of the room so he could curse himself for not being able to interact with people like a normal human being.

\--

Drinks turned into one beer and him trying to get to know the guys. He didn't notice how long they had been sitting there until people started to leave. "Hey Seggy." he cringed a little at the nickname, but smiled at the older Benn. "You mind getting this lush home?" Jamie was leaning against Jordie making shushing noises. He couldn't help but laugh. The guys had secretly been adding shots to Jamie's beers as a congratulations. "That a yes?" Jordie was looking at him seriously.

"I-uh. Sure?" Jordie looked over to Jamie who was now just rubbing his finger over his lips occasionally making the shushing noise.

"He mentioned you live in his building." Jordie pulled Jamie up and talked to him in hushed tones. He grabbed his jacket, but didn't bother putting it on. Jamie stared at him without blinking as they waited for a cab. He talked to Jordie while ignoring the eyes locked on him. Jordie didn't seem to notice his brother. Jamie slumped against the door as it shut. He closed his eyes finally.

"You asleep?" he asked softly as they rounded the corner to their street.

Jamie looked over at him. "M'wake." he pushed Jamie out carefully and made sure he stayed on his feet as they rode up the elevator. By the end of it Jamie was listing pretty far sideways.

"Come on." he tugged Jamie's arm over his shoulder and guided him to his door. "You have your key?" Jamie nodded and felt around his pockets for it before proclaiming loudly and shoving his key at him.

"Told you."

He smiled and nodded. "Yeah. You're pretty odd." he told him as they stumbled in.

Jamie kicked off one shoe, attempted the other, but just shrugged when it stayed on his foot. "You're pretty." Jamie mumbled as he fell onto his bed. He hesitated a second before pulling his shoe off and tugging the thankfully unmade bedding over the dozing winger. 

 

He was curled in bed, Marshall at his feet when he heard a soft moan. His eyes shot open. Holy crap the walls were thin. Now that he was trying to he could hear the small noises clearly. A louder groan jolted him from where he was pressing his ear against the wall. Holy shit. That was his captain. And he was 99% sure that it was only his captain, unless in the last five minutes he'd somehow summoned a female. He leaned his head against the wall and didn't bother denying this was kind of hot. Lil' Segs was definitely digging the bit off moans now almost a constant stream through the wall. "Oh god. Harder." he gripped himself tightly at the request. That wasn't. That was. He closed his eyes as he pushed that into the back of his mind. He had more pressing matters. There was a light rhythm rocking against the wall. With a broken cry the sounds all stopped and he raced to finish. He felt like a moron when his brain restarted and he was panting weakly against the pebbled wall, pillow ruined. That was awesome. He didn't know why Jamie had been all complain-y. He tossed his pillow off the bed and grabbed his other, curling around it as he drifted. 

 

Jamie hadn't done a thing his night with Mack. Hadn't banged on the wall, hadn't yelled, hadn't completed his threat to make them stop. Nothing. He'd most certainly been home, but nothing. He didn't really know what that meant. But he wanted to. Specifically the part that had loved the small broken noises his captain had made. He ate breakfast and got ready for practice thinking about how he could find out. 

 

"Glad to see you're alive," he offered Jamie, praying he had managed to hide the fact that he'd been sitting by his door waiting for Jamie to leave so they could go in together.

"I wish I was dead." Jamie muttered locking his door.

"I don't know. Last night was fun." he winked and smiled at Jamie, waiting for the reaction.

\--

Jamie grimaced and fell into step next to him, "I wish I could remember it..." he told him palming his face. All he had from last night was a pounding head ache and a little dry semen on his sheets that he had stripped off his bed before he got in the shower that morning. This was why he didn't drink, he was a ridiculous lightweight and the guys thought it was hilarious to give him way more than he could handle. He was going to have words with them when he got to the rink but his head hurt too much to stress about it until he had to.

But even with that he smiled at Tyler glad to see someone had a good time last night. "Glad you came out." He told him bumping him with hos shoulder. "I was starting to think that the whole party boy thing was an act so that you could get traded to the best state."

Tyler snorted, "Please. It's always hot here, Texas is practically fighting you off of the ice."

"Just make sure you fight back." He told him stepping into the elevator and holding the door for him.

"Aye, Aye Captain." He grinned stepping in beside him. They bickered all the way to the stadium.

 

"How are you feeling? " Jordie grinned at him after checking him are enough to send him into the wall.

He groaned and shoved him off. "What did you give me last night?" He demanded and he turned with a shrug, "Just 3 beers, maybe a shot or ten of jack." He laughed skating off as Tyler came by.

"I'll do anything you want of you knock him down." He told him.

"Anything? " Tyler smirked and Jamie shrugged with a crooked smile going after him.

 

They were all battered in bruised when training ended for the day after they had decided to make it a sport to shove eachother every chance they got. Even then they were all smiling and joking and talking about going out. Jamie immediately refused. "I'm never going anywhere with you guys again." He told them stepping out when they all got done laughing at him and turned to Seguin to see if they could convince him.

\--

He was drunk. Drunker than he'd let himself get since the trade was made public. The bottle blonde hanging off him giggled against his neck as they walked down the hall. They separated as he reached for his key. She leaned against the door and he shook his head. "That's not mine." she smirked at him in response. "Come here." he said with a bob of his head. She shook her head and leaned fully against the door. "You're going to wake him up." he grumbled taking a few steps toward her.

"You scared of your neighbor?" she asked. He scoffed. "No." she narrowed her eyes at him before spinning, over-correcting for a second and raising her hand to knock.

He grabbed her wrist just before her knuckles made contact. "Don't." he pulled her away and to his apartment. He was no longer feeling it, but he wasn't going to kick her out. It didn't seem to matter cause she fell onto the couch and passed out as soon as they made it in. 

 

The morning was awkward. He was hung over, sore, and grumpy. She took the coffee he offered, mumbled and apology and left without saying another word. He was closing his door when Jamie walked by, head turned to watch the girl as she left. Their eyes met when he turned back. He frowned and shut the door a little harder than necessary.

 

Skate was predictable. He wasn't the only one hung over, and everyone could tell. Roussel hit the boards and was scrambling for the bench before he hurled. Everyone looked a little green after that, even the guys that hadn't gone out. Jamie's eyes followed him when they were on the ice, but dropped any time he looked back. He sighed. It was a stupid plan anyway.

 

"Are you hitting on my brother?" he felt his breath catch as Jordie elbowed him.

He risked a glance over and saw the mocking smile and laughed. "Me? Nah." he let out a shaky breath when Jordie chirped him. He had been. Jamie had been flirting right back. He was pretty sure at least. He couldn't tell yet. He didn't really care if he thought about it. Jamie's laugh was the greatest thing he'd ever heard, and he laughed at all of his stupid jokes. Maybe he was faking it. God he hoped not. Jamie slid back into the booth next to him, pressing closer than probably necessary, but he wasn't going to complain.

 

"Do you ever bring anyone home?" he asked as they unlocked their respective doors.

Jamie dropped his keys. "What?" he shrugged. "Your apartment is quiet. Do you ever bring... People back?" he was being vague. He also was breaking the unspoken agreement that they would not talk about the fact that Jamie had heard Tyler's month of hookups. Jamie's thigh hot against his must have truly driven him insane.

"Sometimes. Why?" Jamie was nearly glaring at him.

His key was in the lock and he knew if he said the wrong thing Jamie would step inside and slam the door. "No reason. Just curious."

Jamie frowned. "Night Tyler."

He smiled. "Night Jamie." 

 

He was in a dry spell. He was racking up assists, but couldn't seem to put it in the net. He was feeling reckless. Getting a little drunker each time the team went out. Win or lose. He had to get this feeling under control. He flipped through his phone a few times before closing it. Booty calls were bad ideas. So, he played with Marshall and watched Real housewives until the infomercials started. He fell into the bed and his bed post shook against the wall. He cringed when he heard a muffled groan. He laid as still as possible and didn't hear anything more. But something popped into his head. This was bad. It was a bad idea. He would regret it in the morning. He'd regret it immediately after most likely, but he didn't care as he shifted up the bed, it bumping lightly against the wall. Probably not enough to wake Jamie again. He was already half hard when he pulled himself free. He bit back a groan before he remembered he wasn't supposed to. "Fuck," he gasped as a spike hit him. He didn't focus on one thing. He didn't think he could, but he'd had two months of Jamie sitting next to him at tables, on the bench, sometimes the plane, and it was driving him crazy. His hands. "God," he groaned. His hands. He whimpered as his own fingers slid down and pressed lightly. He sucked them into his mouth before pushing harder. Jamie would be cautious. He always was at first, but he never stayed that way. He pushed in and let out a whine he wasn't all that proud of. It had been a while. The hand still wrapped around his dick was idly moving, not really building toward anywhere, but keeping things going. He rocked back and forth as he moved his finger. Hesitating before adding a second. "Oh my god," he hissed as he brushed against that sweet spot. He'd never gotten it on the first try before. He pushed down and chased that feeling. There was a thump and his eyes darted to the wall, hips jumping at the thought that he'd woken Jamie. He lost himself in the illusion of Jamie's fingers in him, dragging slowly inside until he couldn't stand it. He thrust up against his hand and the sedate pace he'd been keeping ramped into overdrive. Jamie's fingers finding him again and again. Holding him down. Marking him up. "Oh god. Jamie." he gasped as he came.

\--

He tried not to make it seem obvious that he was waiting for Tyler by holding his ear to the door and waiting for him to come out of his apartment. He hadn't left his own all day trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say about what he had heard last night. He was half asleep at the time but he was positive he heard his name through the wall positive that Tyler had been alone when he said it. So what did that mean? On one hand it had been incredibly hot but on the other it made no sense. They flirted all the time but that was just part of their game dynamic. He thought. At least that's what he said when Jordie asked. But inside he could feel himself going crazy every time their thighs touched when he purposefully sat too close or when he would smile at him like he was the best thing he'd seen all day- the door and he was about to open his door when he heard a knock and jumped back just barely managing to be noiseless. "Hey Ben, you coming?" Tyler yelled through the door.

He took a few steps back before he cleared his throat. "Yeah, yeah." He called back and grabbed the bag he dropped by the door and pulled it open. There was that smile the one that drove him a little crazy so he had to turned fully to the door as he locked it. "Alright, " he sighed shouldering his bag, "Let's show those Canadians what Texas is made of." Tyler rolled his eyes but fell into step with him easily enough following quickly with his own predictions for the game.

 

"To the dynamic duo." Jordie slurred already half gone. "For a beautiful third quarter that those Cunuks never saw coming!" They all took the shots that had been demanded of them and cheered. He slid out of the booth feeling a little off as he walked over to the bar to get another beer.

The bar tender didn't take the cash he tried to hand him. "Already paid for." He told him nodding to a pretty redhead at the end of the bar who raised her own beer and grinned at him.

He nodded shyly and walked over to her. "Thanks." He told her taking a slow drink.

She shrugged. "After a win like that, I figured you deserved it." He grinned and offered his hand to her.

"Jamie." He told her, "you knew that? "

She nodded and laughed, "Kyle." She told him. He bought the next round.

 

He couldn't really get into it. He had her pressed into the wall just inside of his bedroom door, her legs wrapped around his waist hands in his hair. They'd both lost their shirts back in the living room but he had no interest in taking off her bra. What was wrong with him? He couldn't stand the way she was pawing at him so he carried her over to the bed. She pulled down his jeans hungrily and freed him from hos underwear. He lay back on the matrices as she moved down on him closing his eyes. Behind the lids he could see Tyler looking up at him through long lashes, looking a little scruffy and sleepy and hot as fuck. He groaned unable to stop it but tried to keep it quiet. He couldn't do this. He pulled her up to him and flipped it so that she was underneath him so he could get her going, covering her noises with kisses or his hand. He turned her around before he fucked her though, making him feel like a totally dick as her ran his hands up and down her back thinking about the man in the next room who was hopefully asleep. She was blissfully quite for a girl he picked up at a bar and after both of them gasped in relief she fell onto her side, curled up and fell asleep, he followed suit.

 

She was still asleep when he woke up around 10 so he crept out of bed. He took a quick shower and pulled on some jeans and an old league shirt before creeping out of his apartment and knocked on Tyler door.

He opened it with a surprised smirk looking him over. "You okay Jamie?" He asked and he shook his head not caring how pathetic he looked.

"Please hide me." He begged him and he obliged letting him into the apartment. He sank onto the couch and Tyler gave him a cup of coffee and an asprin to nurse his hangover. 

"Rough night?" He asked sitting next to him and he let himself sink down a few inches.

"There is a girl in my bed." He told him. "I don't remember how she got there but I remember it being terrible and I feel like a dick." He told him taking a drink of his coffee.

Tyler nodded watching him. "She's just in there?" He pointed and Jamie nodded.

"I left a note saying we had a work out..." he groaned palming his face.

Tyler laughed, "it was that bad?" He just nodded and the center grinned looking oddly pleased. "Wanna watch tv?"

\--

The hotel lost the reservation, double booked, fucked up, no one was sure, but when they landed after an overnight flight no one cared. They just wanted to sleep. Everyone was doubled up, he faintly heard someone saying they had two roommates. He jumped at the extra key Jamie was holding while Jordie was chirping Dills. The D pair should share anyway. Jamie shot him a look, but shrugged as they headed up. 

 

It was late, he'd showered, laughed at a late night show that wasn't that funny, but his tired mind found hilarious, and now was trying to fall asleep, but he couldn't. Listening to Jamie a few feet away and not through the wall was a strange thing. He didn't even want him to be those few feet away. He wanted to curl around Jamie and poke him until he laughed that perfect laugh. He wanted to catch Jamie in a kiss as he giggled. He wanted to fall asleep with him, and wake up in the morning and just lay there. He wanted things he'd never wanted with anyone before. "Hey Jamie?" he whispered into the darkness. Jamie sighed. It was probably the only response he was going to get. "Why haven't you said anything about that night before training camp?" there had been no, 'dude are you gay?' he's gotten those a couple times, was pretty good at laughing through his non-answer. He had to know.

\--

Jaime blinked at the dark mass that was on Tyler's bed and tried to think up a good answer that was honest without full out saying that he had gotten off to the sound of him being fucked into the wall. "No offense or anything man, I just.." He paused thinking about it. "I guess it just doesn't make a difference to me." He told him.

Tyler was quiet for a minute but asked, "What do you mean?"

Jamie rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm from Canada Ty, we don't make a fuss about men liking men or women liking women. Thousands of people fly up every year to get married. My parents always had gay friends. I had gay friends. Hell, I could see myself falling for a guy one day and I wouldn't give a damn. You like who you like, and when you love someone you should have the same rights as anyone else to let the world know without being looked at or judged for it." Tyler didn't say anything and he could feel his face getting hot from his righteous speech. Who the hell was he, Captain Canada? He would have laughed if he wasn't so mortified.

He was about to turn over and pretend to be dead until the morning but the center finally broke the silence with, "You ever liked a guy?"

Sure. You. he thought but all he said was, "Yeah."

"Ever been with one?" he asked quickly after and Jamie shook his head, face still hot.

"Nope." They were quiet again. Jamie broke it this time."You okay?" It was all he could think to ask, but he was feeling nervous and he couldn't explain why to himself he just needed to know that things were alright.

Tyler chuckled, breathing life back into the room that had gone way too quiet. "Yeah, I'm great." he told him and Jamie grinned closing his eyes again.

"Night."

\--

The loss gutted him. And he knew it was obvious to anyone that looked at,him. The guys were all superficially upbeat around him even though they were mourning the loss too. "Coming out?" Dills asked.

"Plans with Freddy," he said with a smile. It was the one thing he was still excited about. He pulled his jacket on and caught Jamie frowning at him. "What?" he asked looking down at his suit. Jamie shook his head, but he caught him frowning at him a couple times on the bus back to the hotel. 

 

Freddy whistled as he opened the door. "Way to make a boy feel special." he laughed as he shot Freddy a dismissing look. "I know for a fact that is your nicest suit." Freddy said as explanation.

He frowned as he looked down. "It's Boston."

Freddy bumped his shoulder. "I know." they drank a few beers quickly and rode the buzz. He had an early flight and Freddy made noises about getting over a cold.

"Jamie is mad at me." He said softly as they watched an Aspca commercial.

"What'd you do?"

He shrugged. "Didn't score. Let the city get to me. He frowned at me and was straight up glaring at me when I left."

Freddy punched him. "Jamie wouldn't be mad at you for that." He sighed. "you tell him you were coming here?"

He shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, they asked if I wanted to go out. Why are you smiling douche?"

Freddy was practically laughing at him. "He's not mad. He's jealous. He thinks you're over here to hook up." He scoffed. "Dude. Even I think you look good tonight. Someone as gone for you as Jamie must have been dying."

He shook his head. "Jamie's not-"

"Don't. There are blogs devoted to the way he looks at you." he sulked and Freddy gave him shit for it, but he didn't want to suspect. He wanted to know that what he was hoping was true, actually was. 

 

"Jamie?" they were back at home. Jamie hadn't talked to him since they'd gotten back past a few things during practice. It was late, he had heard Jamie get into bed a few minutes ago. It felt stupid talking through a wall, but he couldn't do this and see Jamie's face as he turned him down.

"Yeah?" Jamie said after a beat, sounding confused.

"I uh. I- nevermind. Sorry." He got up and hid in his living room.

 

People tagged him in things all the time. He didn't think anything of it. Texts came immediately after that. Then the calls started. He had 117 texts and 32 missed calls in the time it took him to take a shower. He didn't look at a single one. He was sure he'd been traded again by the massive response. A couple bangs on his door brought him out of his daze. He opened it to the Benn brothers. Jordie looking pissed and Jamie looking guilty. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He blinked. "What?" Jordie just stared at him for a second before opening his phone tapping around and shoving it at him.

"The good ole days," he read. It was a picture of him and Brownie. He wasn't even sure if he'd been drafted yet, they were so young. But there was no mistaking it was them, or that he was about to get a blowjob and was pretty into it. He had laughed when the flash had gone off. So gone on what was happening that he couldn't have cared less. He looked at the name of the original poster, it wasn't anyone he knew. "I showed it to him," Jordie said with a jerk of a thumb, "but he didn't seem surprised at all. Do you not trust me?"

He let the screen go dark. "I didn't tell him. I haven't even said it out loud. Why would I tell you?" He shoved the phone back at Jordie. Suddenly pissed at his demands. "You want me to tell you that sometimes I fuck dudes? That it's fucking awesome. That I have been terrified that something like this would happen since I got drafted. Fuck you." He felt like he was going to throw up. He ran to the restroom and lost it as soon as he fell to his knees. Somewhere in between heaves he started crying. "Fuck this year," he mumbled when he felt someone rubbing his back.

"I don't think it's been a bad year." He rolled his eyes. "You're here."

He hugged the seat. "Not for long."

Jamie tugged on him and he looked up. "You're not going anywhere." He wanted to believe him. When he saw the same determination Jamie got when they were behind in the third, he almost did.

"Just because you want something bad enough doesn't mean it'll happen." Jamie looked like he'd slapped him for a second before pulling him into a hug.

 

He didn't get traded. The stars made a point to not tolerate the questions after games. They didn't try to control him, gave him his options and let him choose. Jim pat his shoulder called him son and asked him how he was. He could have cried if he hadn't done that for hours after Jamie left and he called his mom. Lindy stood behind him arms crossed as he told the team. The front office hadn't told him to, but he couldn't play with the guys and them be unsure. They had all seen the post. The lack of a reaction made that much obvious. A few guys, the ones he could honestly say he cared what their opinions were clapped him on the shoulder. Single gestures of support that meant more than he could express. Lindy called for practice after he surveyed the group and seemed satisfied with whatever he had been looking for. He knew not everyone was as cool with his confession as they seemed, but he trusted his team. They all grabbed lunch after. Jordie shoved in next to him before Jamie could. He'd already apologized for his reaction and seemed desperate to make sure Tyler had actually accepted the apology. There were questions, chirps, but nothing crossed the line.

He laughed as one of the guys asked how he could not like boobs, then proceeded to write an ode to them. "I do? I like girls and guys?" They all kind of paused. The table kind of started up in quiet conversation. He followed bits, but didn't know how to respond to some of the comments. He wasn't even sure himself. Maybe he should have owned up to it when he was 14 and kissed Josh Wynak in a game of truth or dare. Maybe he'd be able to explain it. Maybe he'd have been prepared.

"Like hockey in Texas," Val said touching his shoulder behind Jordie.

"What?"

Val shrugged. "Make no sense, but still awesome."

He laughed. "Yeah." he didn't stop smiling the rest of lunch.

 

PR thought he'd lucked out with this happening right before the Olympic break. He wouldn't call it lucky, but only having to play phoenix before he could take a two week vacation from the world sounded nice. Jamie was distracted the whole game. He waved it off as pre-Olympic nerves. "Bring us home the gold. Show'em." He said giving Jamie a tight hug as he left for the airport the next day.

"Ty." he hummed.

"Don't forget sun block." He laughed and let go.

"Be safe." Jamie added quietly. 

 

Hanging with the guys was all he needed. Freddy dragged him out a couple times, but mostly he soaked up the sun and swam. They watched some games, the important ones. He knocked over his chair cheering so loud when Jamie scored. A couple patrons looked at him like he was insane. He sat back down and ignored the ribbing he got. He sent out two texts after the game. Jamie replied back with a million smiley faces. Kaner a short, I know. Then there was gold. And his captain was an Olympic gold medalist. He got a few texts.

-This doesn't feel real.- Jamie sent.

-Pinch yourself and enjoy it, loser.- They didn't text much, friends, teammates, and next door neighbors made it almost unnecessary. It didn't really change with Jamie half way across the world. 

 

Landing in Dallas and remembering what had happened days before he left kind of sucked. But he'd deal. He didn't feel like he was spiraling out of control anymore.

\--

He couldn't sleep. He had only been back home for a day and his mind was still stuck halfway across the world with the gold medal that was now in a case on his mantle. His mom insisted that he put it in something when he told her he'd just hang it on a door or something and gave him a speech until he finally complied. He was an Olympic gold medalist but it still hadn't kicked in yet. And it bugged him that the only person that he wanted to talk to about it wasn't even home yet. Jordie didn't get it but he didn't ask, he just gave him a weird look when he told him he was going to go to the gym instead of going out with the guys again for another post gold celebration.

"You don't want to flash around your medal and see how fast girls drop their panties?" He asked disappointed.

Jamie laughed pulling on his sweatpants. "They wouldn't even know what I got it for."

Jordie waved that off, "They wouldn't need too." But Jamie just shook his head. He still had the last hook up he'd had in his mind and that wasn't something that he wanted to relive. Maybe he was just getting too old to enjoy that kind of thing anymore. He didn't know. All he knew was that is wasn't happening again until it was the real deal.

"Lock up when you're done." He told Jordie who was slumped on the couch watching project runway and grabbed his bag.

"Don't stay at the Gym all night. Johnny and Spezza well come after you!" He threatened Jamie rolled his eyes and closed the door.

 

He could just Text him. He knew that. He could ask him when he was coming home like friends do and it wouldn't be weird but he was making it weird. He didn't want to make it weird. Which he knew he was doing now but things were different, and even though he wanted things to be different, he didn't necessarily know how to go about it and he was pretty sure a rambling text wasn't the way to go. It would just be easier if Tyler was there is all. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and opened the chat window. The last rime they texted he'd just won the gold and didn't know what to do with himself. "Pinch yourself." He muttered doing just that putting the phone back and continuing his run. It could wait. Not that he knew what he wanted to say.

 

He was exhausted when he slumped back into his building and into the elevator waiting with his eyes closed for the door to shut and take him to his floor. He didn't see Tyler come in and Tyler didn't say anything but when he opened his eyes his neighbor was smirking at him leaning against the wall. "Hey looser." He told him happy and Jamie smiled harder that he felt he ever had in his life.

"You're back." He told him moving to pull him into a hug but he stopped when he remembered that he'd just finished a nearly three hour work out and just pat his shoulder. "Took you long enough." He added with a fake glare as they stepped onto their landing. They chatted for a bit before Jamie went to take a shower and Tyler went to unpack. But even in those two minutes with him Jamie could feel the difference, between them and in himself. He wondered if Tyler felt that? If he could feel that little tie pulling them together because if he did he didn't let on. So Jamie didn't do anything about it. They closed their doors and he took a very long, very cold shower wondering if this would go away.

 

The bad PR from before the break seemed to have mostly gone away, or at least not have been a huge deal until their next game. They were locked in a tie at the end of the second, all of them a little roughed up from the hard play and the even harder handling that Atlanta was handing out. They were on and off the bench all night, and had just gotten the whistle for and interference on Ty when the player bumped shoulders with Tyler and mumbled, "Fagott." Jamie went ridged doing everything that he could to keep himself still as he watched him skate off. The Ref was right there but didn't call it, either because he was tired of calling them out or he just didn't care but that wasn't going to fly with Jamie.

"You gonna call that Ref?" He bit at him but Tyler grabbed his shoulder.

"It's cool man." He told him pulling him back towards the set up for the power play as the linesman dropped the puck. He wasn't imagining it. As soon as Tyler got the puck the same player ran right into him, body checking him into the boards. The ref whistled and they called the penalty but he looked pretty damn pleased with himself as he climbed into the box.

"Two minutes isn't long enough." He called at the Ref but he wasn't having it. 

"I'll give you two for misconduct next time Benn, just play." 

He skated over the Tyler. "You okay?" He asked and he nodded but he was glaring at the penalty box. Lindy called them back to bench and the next line jumped out. To minutes wasn't enough cause soon he was back on the ice and they were back out with them and he was charging back at Tyler who didn't even have the puck and Jamie just kind of broke. He met the charge and slammed him into the board hard enough the fans behind it were pushing back against it.

"What's your problem? " The guy shouted and Jamie grit his teeth.

"What's yours?" He demanded and they both dropped their gloves stopping the game around him. He didn't get the first hit but he got the last when the Ref and Jordie flew onto the ice to rip them apart. His lips was split and his eye was already swelling and Jordie was saying something like Let it go but he couldn't hear past the ringing in his head and the crowd shouting. Misconduct was called on both of them and the timer was set for 10 minutes as they climbed into their separate boxes, Fiddler skated by with his fallen helmet, gloves and stick.

"What was that about?" He asked and Jamie shook his head.

"Win the game." He told him and tried not to glare at the man in the box next to him.

 

They won but Lindy wasn't happy. He yelled at him asking what in his right mind he had been thinking and how he'd expected more. Then he sent him to get washed up and ice his eye, promising to push him hard at their next practice. He knew that he would. Tyler was waiting when he got out of the locker room with his bag over his shoulder. "Hey." He said quietly and Jamie nodded at him still feeling the weight of Lindy's disappointment on his shoulders. He was quiet until they left the building until he said, "You know, that was really stupid." He started.

Jamie sighed, "Can you not?" He asked, "Lindy already ripped me a new one okay? And fuck that guy, I'd do it again." He told him getting mad all over again so he stopped talking. They made it all the way back to their building in silence, nodding to each other before closing their doors and Jamie fell onto the couch and stayed there holding a bag of peas to his face wondering of it would make his life stop ringing.

\--

The chirps got louder. Not meaner. People didn't seem to care if they bothered him at all. It was Jamie they were after. That much was clear. They were in a battle for a wild card spot and Jamie was pulling penalties left and right. Lindy noticed and His left side was a rotation of guys. Jamie dropping back because anytime they were on the ice together he lost it a little. Roussel slammed into a defenseman heading straight at him and he shot before he could really think. He scored. He was being picked up by Val and Antoine slid into them a second later laughing. When he looked to the bench Jamie was frowning. His smile wavered, but he held onto it. It was Jamie's fault they weren't together. Not his.

 

"No. What good would that do? If he's this bad now? What if he did "reciprocate"? And dude. You using that word a day calendar I got you?"

Freddy laughed. "Have you told him you don't like him standing up for you?"

He snorted. "He's not standing up for me. He's just being a bully now. The fight? That was sort of standing up for me. But now... He barked at Pat the other day. It's just getting out of hand." He sighed and leaned against his counter. "I should talk to him." Freddy made a noise of agreement he knew meant that he had been suggesting that this entire time. They talked about everything except hockey for a while more. 

 

He knocked on Jamie's door after staring at the peephole for a few minutes he wasn't proud of. "Hey." Jamie smiled. He nodded briefly and walked past. "You ok?" he shrugged. "Ty?" he stopped and turned.

"I'm not yours." Jamie stopped moving. Eyes darting to his. "I'm not yours to protect, defend, or whatever it is you're calling this shit you're doing on the ice. I don't need it. I've taken care of myself for years. I don't suddenly need it now. So when you're done being a jackass come see me on the top line, captain." he took a breath and glanced at Jamie before leaving.

\--

For half a second he really considered going after Tyler. He thought about banging on the door and tell him that it wasn't fair that he said his piece without giving him a chance to say his own but he didn't. And he wouldn't. Because frankly he wasn't high enough on his own horse to see that he wasn't a little right. Jamie wasn't that player and it was time he stopped acting like one. He didn't own the right to protect Tyler so he would stop. Lindy was relieved to say the least. He spent a couple more games on a line rotation before he was back on the left wing he belonged on and got things rolling again. There was a lot of press on him but he didn't crack under the pressure of it. He took it in stride and said only what he had too before heading back to whatever hotel they were staying at or his apartment looking straight forward when he passed the door next to his like he had blinders on.

 

He didn't feel like there was any noticeable change in his and Tyler relationship but Eaves could. They had decided to go out after a five sweep against the Hurricanes and for the first time in what seemed like a while Jamie didn't sit next to Tyler. It wasn't like he wasn't being friendly and laughing with them, bantering with the guys or reluctantly taking the drinks he was handed, he just chose to sit in a different seat. He was taking a step back for his own mental health and apparently taking a different seat meant that something was wrong. "Did yall divorce or something? " Eaves asked after dragging him over to the bar to help carry the next round. He laughed it off stiffly. "We're fine." He told him taking the tray. And hurrying back to the guys so he could avoid further confrontation.

 

Only they weren't fine. They were good at acting fine around the guys but as soon as they were left alone they both dropped their eyes and let silence settled it. It was infuriating but he wasn't willing to break it. He'd stopped his stupid fighting, he'd known it was stupid. But that hadn't fixed anything and he didn't even know how to start to think about doing that. So he didn't. He just played hockey and worked out and went home and stayed miserable because it was easier than actually having to think about his feelings. Feelings sucked.

"You are pathetic." Jordie told him as he walked into his apartment without knocking, dressed to the nines.

"Well you're a dick, but I'm nice enough to keep that to myself." He mumbled flipping the channel again without really seeing what was on it.

"Dude," Jordie stepped in front of the TV, "Common, we're going out. We just won our fourth game. We're celebrating. Get dressed."

"Bossy." Jamie grunted as he got up and rightened himself, putting on some dark jeans a dress shirt and a blue blazer before he frown at himself in the mirror and left the room.

"That's more like it." His brother grinned at him when he came back out. "Let's go forget our names." He told him and Jamie just kind of grumbled before giving up completely. 

 

He hadn't thought he'd drank that much but the floor was wobbling when he got up from their booth two hours later. He was glad he'd gone out, it had been a good night and him and Tyler even made ribbing small talk when they'd been left alone at the table. This were shaping out to be great until he noticed Tyler talking to a tall blond guy who loomed about 50 shades of perfection in a grey suit and obviously liked what he was seeing. How could he not? Jaime looked away and headed back to the table. "I don't feel great." He told Jordie, "I'm going to get a cab home."

His brother looked him over for a minute before nodding. "Call me when you get there." He told him and Jaime found his way through the crowd and out the door. He walked home. Because he was stubborn and hated cabs and didn't feel like dealing with people. They hadn't gone that far from his building anyway. Half an hour later he was back in his place, crawling into bed and leaving a disgruntled message on Jordie's phone. He had no right to be jealous. He got that. He didn't need the universe reminding him every time he turned around. So he willed himself to try and sleep, hoping to god that they decided to go to the blonds place, he didn't think he could handle what he knew would happen on the other side of the wall.

\--

"You wanna get out of here?"

He jerked back. "What?" he'd read this wrong. James, John? had told him good game and bought him a drink. He hadn't thought. For a while he'd forgotten everyone knew. That he could pick up and not hide it. James, it was James, he was sure of it, looked like he'd made a terrible mistake and glanced back at the team.

"Nevermind." Tyler followed his line of sight. Jordie and Dills were having a competition with Val. But there was no Jamie to stop it. He looked back to James.

"Actually. Yeah." 

 

The driver coughed pointedly, but he didn't care. There were hands in his hair, a mouth on his neck and he couldn't give a shit. The car slowed and they stumbled out. He looked up at his building as James paid. "C'mon Jamie. Hurry up." he blinked. "Oh shit." he looked back to the taxi.

James had paid and was watching him. "You ok?"

He shook his head. "I can't do this." He said quietly.

"Can't do what?"

He stepped back. "This. You uh. Have to go. And I'm going to uh, go not with you."

James looked at him for a long second. "Ok." He frowned. "Gave it a shot." He looked up from where he had been studying the sidewalk. He got a quick kiss. "Bring Texas the cup again?" he grinned and nodded.

 

He leaned against the door, knocking softly. He grit his teeth and knocked quickly. He heard grumbling seconds before the door opened. Jamie frowned at him in his lounge pants. "I'm tired of the wall." he stepped forward. "I wanna make you make those noises." He took a breath. "Don't hate me." He ducked the centimeter his shoes gave him over Jamie and kissed him.

\--

He was so groggy and surprised that it took him a moment to register what he had said and by that point he was kissing him and he couldn't register anything except that he and somehow managed to get a handful of his shirt and pull him into this apartment before they kicked the door shut. He should have said something important here like, "Why would I hate you?" Or, "Sorry for being a dick." Or even, "Finally." But he wobbled a little when he came up for air, chest heaving like he'd never run a day in his life and he had to close his eyes to steady the world. "Jamie?" Tyler asked and he kissed him again just a little kiss that didn't break the pout on the centers lips.

"I'm very drunk." He told him after a minute when he could breath again and Tyler pursed his lips together to keep from bursting out laughing.

"I can see that." He said after a second moving to step back but Jamie kept holding onto him. He felt very serious all of a sudden. Like if he were to let go then this would all go away and he didn't want that. He couldn't take a step back again he just couldn't handle that.

"I want to be able to remember this." He told him after a minute of collecting his thoughts. Tyler nodded and kissed him again. It was softer letting him relish the feeling of it. Tyler had soft lips. Not fake and waxy chap stick soft but natural soft. The kind you wanted to be wrapped around you. He knew his were probably rough and his lip still had a small scab from where it had been split last but Tyler didn't seem to care and he didn't if Tyler didn't.

Tyler pulled back this time. "Should I go? " He asked but Jamie shook his head.

"I'm having feelings. Just kiss me more." He told him making Tyler laugh as he obliged. 

 

He woke up when his head gave a sharp throb and groaned when the sun hit him right in the eyes. It was too early for the world to be awake and he just wanted to crawl under the sheets and die there before he could remember what and who he did last night. He didn't want to face it. He'd had such a great dream that he didn't want to get up and make it all go away. He just wanted to close his eyes and keep it a little longer before he went back to his new reality of avoiding contact with the person he wanted full contact with. He rolled over with a little groan and his hand it the hard warm chest of whoever he'd brought home last night. It took him a second to realize it was a guy. It took him a second more than that to crack his eyes open. Tyler was asleep next to him in his undershirt that was just slightly pushed up and his boxers. Jamie lay very still breathing as shallowly as possible. There was no way that this was real. His hand flexed and Tyler grumbled something sleepily, covering the hand with his own before he rolled over taking Jamie's arm with him. He scooted forward still trying to collect all of the pieces of last night before he went into full freak out mode. He left the bar alone, walked home, Tyler showed up...and they kissed. That was it. Nothing else. They kissed and fell asleep and Tyler was sleeping in his bed, back pressed into his chest and his heart felt like it was about to explode. He closed his eyes again and tucked his head into his back. He was warm and comfortable and he just didn't want to think about anything but that for a while.

\--

He woke up with Jamie shifting behind him, trying to hide the bulge pressing against him. He shifted back against it. "Where you going?" he asked as Jamie's breath caught. He pulled on Jamie's arm and moved again. Now that he was awake and acknowledging the boner Jamie seemed less inclined to leave. They rocked lazily for a few minutes. He hadn't been on this side before and hadn't expected to like it as much as he did. Jamie slowed and breathed against his back.

"I don't think I'm ready. I want to, but I still can't believe you are actually here." Jamie whispered into his skin, leaving a kiss between his shoulder blades. "You were so mad at me." He rolled over so he could face Jamie.

"Because I wanted there to be a reason you were being so protective." He shrugged. "At least that's what I was told."

Jamie looked at him for a quiet second. "There was a reason." Jamie kissed him.

He laughed and pulled back. "You're much better at that sober." Jamie growled and kissed him again. A few seconds passed before they slowed and he rubbed Jamie's hair out of his face. "You look sexy with your hair pushed back." He laughed as soon as he finished and Jamie sat up.

"Quoting Mean Girls in bed? That's hot." he watched Jamie pad to the bathroom.

"Oh my god! You can't sit with us." he shrieked. Jamie's laugh echoed in the bathroom. 

 

Jordie looked between the two of them before beaming as they walked into practice. He quickly changed, but not quick enough. "Who try to eat you?" Val asked tapping the hickey on his collar bone. Jamie had been smart enough to do it where a shirt could hide it, but he knew it wouldn't hide it for long. He just didn't expect the first minute of him walking in. "Boyfriend?" Val asked nudging him.

He smiled. "Yeah. It was." Val laughed. He pulled his gear on and turned. Jamie was beaming at him and Jordie was fake puking a few stalls away. He smiled at his skates as he pulled them on.

\--

"Okay what?" Jordie stopped him before they headed out onto the ice. Jamie sighed and did the best he could to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head. It wasn't like Jordie hadn't suspected that something was going on between them. He'd harassed Jamie about it for weeks until he whacked him upside the head and told him to cut it out. But Jordie was just the type of guy that needed to be told so he could add the verbal contract to his list of files that he could use against him later. Jamie wasn't going to give in that easily.

"What?" he asked innocently letting his eyes follow Tyler out the door, head just half in his jersey, the bottom part of his back still showing. He could get used to looking at that. In fact he would make sure that he did.

"What do you mean what?" He demand stealing his attention back by waving his hand in front of his face. "That. Him. Are you-?" Jamie smirked and shrugged jogging on his skates to catch up with the boys and sneaking a kiss on Tyler's cheek before jumping onto the ice in front of him. 

 

The couple stuff was easy. Mostly because they had been doing it all before just not as a couple. Tyler followed him into his apartment after practices. They ate together, borrowed clothes, slept together. But they still hadn't...slept together. "What's the hold up?" Jordie asked when he had avoided the question. "Aren't you like in love?" Jamie avoided looking at him as he shrugged.

"Yeah." was all he could manage to say. He hated talking to him about this stuff. He just wasn't good at it, not like Tyler who was always seemed so completely shameless.

"So?" his bother prompted, sliding a beer over the counter to him and he took a quick drink before he managed.

"I just... you know I haven't, like, been with a guy before." he huffed taking another drink to have something to focus on that wasn't Jordie's shit eating grin.

"Really. That's all?" he asked and Jamie shrugged again. "You like guys right?" he asked and Jamie fixed him with a stare that read 'Obviously,' before he continued, "Then that's that. Just get happy, stick it in and move around. Vwala." He did spirit fingers and Jamie put his face in his hands.

"How did you manage to make that sound so mortifying?" he demanded into his palms.

"I have a gift." he told Jamie happily taking another drink. "Just saying, if you don't do it, someone else will try." he shrugged and that was the end of that conversation. 

 

Tyler was laying on his couch when he got back into the apartment, one leg hitched over the back of it in his gym shorts, fingertips resting just inside the waste of his boxers peaking out of them with his shirt hiked up enough to just show his stomach. He looked edible. He smirked when he noticed Jamie full out staring at him, "See something you like?" he asked and in answer Jamie kicked off his shoes and walked over to the couch so he could crawl over him and give him a long, heated kiss.

"Hi." he mumbled breathlessly into his neck when he pulled back, his hand pushing up under his shirt so that he could feel him.

"Hey." Tyler laughed a little but stopped when he found the spot just under his ear that drove him crazy. He grinned and kissed him again.

"You miss me?" he asked and Tyler snorted.

"You were gone for an hour. I survived." but he was now straining against his shorts and Jamie rolled into it. "Fuuuuuuck."

He hissed and Jamie breathed, "Do you want to-"

"Yes!" And then they were kissing again. It was hard to get up when all he wanted to do was press himself as hard into Tyler as he could but he managed. He pulled him up and they stumbled back into the bedroom, hitting the wall a few times before they found the bed. He pulled off Tyler's shirt and then his own while Tyler yanked at his jeans and pulled him out, heavy in his palm. Just seeing himself in Tyler's hand would have been enough to finish this way too fast, but watching at his lips wrapped around him, pulling him in deep enough that he could feel the back of his throat was the sweetest form of torture.

"Shit." he hissed closing his eyes trying to remember what his grandmother smelled like to keep from blowing his load before he got any use out of it. He looked down whenever he could handle it and bit his lip against a harsh string of profanities when he saw Tyler looking up at him through his eyelashes, cheeks hollowed out almost up to the base. "You've got to be kidding." He groaned. "You are way too good at that." he told him when he had finally had too much and made him pull back.

He kissed him down to the bed and yanking at his shorts but he caught his hand. "Wait, do you have any lube?" he asked and Jamie blinked at him.

"Uh... no." shit. Way to be spontaneous. He was just about to whack himself on the head when Tyler laughed and pecked his forehead.

"Okay, one sec." he told him making a dash out of the apartment to his own. He waited, still half out of his jeans, boxers just barely pulled down so he kicked off his pants and Tyler was back, pushing his own down and stepping out of them before falling back onto the bed. "Here." he handed him the little bottle. "You don't need a lot just a few drops." he told him and Jamie nodded focusing on the task at hand. Tyler rolled onto his stomach, clutching a pillow to his chest as Jamie tentatively applied the lube to his fingers and his rim. He pushed the first finger in slowly. It was tight and warm and strangely satisfying. He poked around a couple of times until he got a good gasp from Tyler and added the next. He was three fingers in, surprised by how turned on he was by the way that Tyler was moving against him when Tyler finally breathed, "Just do it already" and he complied.

"Wait." he huffed, pulling Tyler back around so he was looking at him, pushing his legs apart with his knee. All of his nerves were gone with his first thrust. Tyler gripped his shoulders hard, groaning as his eyes fluttered shut. Jamie shifted down so he was laying flat against him and thrust again, deeper. He kept at it, slow and hard, the bed frame knocking against the wall in the same slow and painful rhythm until Tyler pulled their mouths back together and he couldn't hold onto his composure. He moved faster, harder, Tyler's hands grabbing onto his hips to pulling him deeper into him. It felt like he stomach was being flipped inside out and he could hear that he was speaking but he couldn't quite capture the words. Tyler was too distracting, making all of these amazing sounds and his eyes watching him half lidded, both of them slick from sweat as he pounded as far into him as he could. He loved him. Right then he really fully loved him. He was sure the entire apartment complex could hear just how much to more he tried to make him feel it until he was barely keeping it together. He reached in between them and rubbed him off with his last couple of thrusts, sighing in relieve when he felt Tyler cum before completely letting go. They panted for a few minutes, still together, kissing lazily before he finally rolled off and they just lay there staring at the ceiling, hands lazying twined together between them. "Think God heard all those prayers?" He asked him when he'd finally caught his breath. The laugh that followed was the best thing he'd ever heard.


End file.
